Over being the Wrong Me....

I was emailing a friend, and she asked how I was, one of the things I said to her was that..

"I was over being me, being the Wrong Me"

And I am.

I just don't have the words, or the heart at the moment to really get into more depth than that...needless to say, I just feel that everything is wrong, nothing works, its all a complete lie, my entire life, my entire being..I feel like I am no good at anything, not being a Mother, not being a Wife, not being a daughter, not being a friend, not even being a human being...

I'm tired of being let down, I'm tired of other people walking around with seemingly normal happy lives trampling over others and nothing is said, it doesnt seem to bother other people, but for me, it totally bothers me, and I get told 'you take things too personally' ' don't stress' , ' so what who cares' ' it doesnt bother me - why does it bother you'

Its like I see the world one way, I see all these truly awful things, I see the way people treat other people and its like i watch through a movie camera or something because no one else seems to see it but me...and if (and I do often) point it out I am somehow the bad guy and somehow everything ends up being my fault , and then I get told that I get too involved, and somehow the people in the wrong seem to be the hero's and I end up looking like the baddie - again...how does it all get turned around on me ?

How do people get away with stuff ? but yet if I do the very same thing, I would be chastized in a heartbeat.

How do people walk around hurting other people and its like water off a ducks back, but yet when I get involved, when I Step up to the plate and take responsibility and say hey thats not right , I get mud slung at me ?

How come I see other people doing EXACTLY what I am accused of doing at times and yet thats perfectly fine for them ..........

I don't understand it . I don't understand why no one seems to give a damn.

Back to being the wrong me...I know in my heart there is nothing to say that if I had of stayed with my first mother in England that my life would be better, in fact given the circumstances , my life could have been a lot LOT worse, but I still feel robbed, cheated of a heritage and an entire family.

Im nothing like my adoptive family, and since my adoptive mother died its abundantly clear that she was the glue that held the family together, or rather MADE The family stay together.

I maybe see my adoptive brothers once a year (if that)

Some family hey...
But hell it could have been a lot worse, and I know that, I bet there are lots of people in the world that wish their only problem was being ignored from their family.

And logically I KNOW that, but it really doesn't stop the emotional side of me from feeling what it feels

Have you heard of the Blog Laketrees ?

Have you heard of the Blog Laketrees The Fine art of Kim Barker ?

Yes ?

Then you would know already about the fantastic competition that she is holding for Christmas - A FREE PORTRAIT worth $6000 PLUS FREE Postage including international..

No?

Nor had I until today when i was blogging along, and stumbled across Laketrees Blog

If you haven't heard about it then You can enter HERE

Just imagine having a beautiful portrait of yourself or your loved one hanging in your special room..

What a fantastic competition, what a fantastic opportunity..

Today I came across a Blog...........

Today I came across a Blog.
I came across this blog, I believe, for a reason.
You see someone who has started following my blog, was in my followers section, I had a look - who is this person following my blog, I wonder...
And so I looked , and then I looked at the other types of blogs that they follow...
And I came across this blog C Jane Enjoy It
I admit my first thought was "is it a play on words as in see Jane...and was it attacking me..
Yup thats the adoptee in me paranoid that someone is having a go..

So I went, and I saw that no in fact, it was about a woman who was writing her blog about fertility and now motherhood....and now in the past months about her sister and brother in law tragically injured in a plane crash with over 80 percent burns to her sisters body and 30 percent to her brother in laws body...

I am not going to share my feelings at this moment , there are a number of similarities, names, situations and such but I just want to say, I was and AM deeply moved by this sisters blog.....a little bit of me selfishly so, at the thought of my children going through the pain of this happening to their parents, but without this type of support..So I try not to think of that, but still have deep sadness for this young Mother fighting so strongly for her life (and by all accounts doing a marvelous job) And in awe of her sister C and the rest of the family.
So no this is not adoption related, but it is definitely *a moment of the heart* related and so I needed to share it with my readers.........

So from Australia I send my heartfelt prayers and thoughts to you Stephanie And Christian, to your sisters and brother s and the rest of your families...
I also send my thoughts, prayers and condolences to the loss of the pilot Doug Kinneard ...to his family and friends I am so very sorry for your loss..

And so Please visit these blogs, and please if you can help in anyway do so, because there are children out there that really need their Mummy and Daddy to come back home to them.....

I'm about to check out all the links as to what I can do to put forward my little bit..


GET WELL SOON

Stephanie and Christian Nielson

Another baby lost to Adoption

I know, I shouldnt have looked but I was hoping against hope that the MOTHER had changed her mind.

What happened to a FEW Days ?

How does the baby get born on the 17th and is home with these people on the 19th ?

Sadly and with tears rolling down my face - it wasnt to be. She didnt change her mind (yet) and when she does it will be to late.

Another little baby, newborn has been lost to adoption. And they will sit there and wonder why *their* baby cries so much, why *their* baby can not seem to be calmed , or soothed or settled, they will take him to the doctor because they will fear that there is something wrong with him, they will shake their heads, and not understand , and feel rejected by this little baby boy, they will be tired and strung out and fight with each other over it....

But what they don't know because they REFUSE To listen, because all they WANT is A BABY, is that this little newborn baby only a few days old, is in agonizing pain , the pain of being separated from his Mother, but they won't listen....

So as I sit her with tears rolling down my face, I'm going to take a break and try not to drive myself batty asking why does this still happen in this day and age, and pray that this little baby boy doesn't suffer too much

It just hurts far too much.......

Im thinking of taking a bit of a break, at least from reading ANY prospective adopting parent's blog.

If you read my previous post "Flogging A Dead Horse" you will see why. I still cant get that baby out of my mind.
All I know is that there are a few days left for the MOTHER to change her mind and I am going to be PRAYING As hard as possible that she does!

I don't begrudge these people having children, but go to a orphanage and get one that has NO family. Don't snatch one straight out of another Mothers womb

These people talk of God so much and how its his will and that this baby is meant to be theirs - well you know what ? they have selective hearing as far as God is concerned - because maybe God sent ME to their little blog to intercede and show them that this baby belongs with his MOTHER, and that they should leave her alone...and go and adopt a orphan, who truly needs parents!

I love how people pull God out when it suits them !

Is this in a Capital State ? Casey Anthony case

Casey Anthony is now up to face First Degree Murder Charges over her daughter Caylee Anthony, despite no body

A grand jury returned charges of first-degree murder, aggravated child abuse, aggravated manslaughter and four counts of lying to investigators against Casey Anthony in the death of her daughter, Caylee, State Attorney Lawson Lamar said. The mother is being held without bond

You can read news coverage of it here And here

I'm just wondering if its a Capital State that she is going to be charged for murder in ? and if so can you be executed for murder when there is no body ?

Don't get me wrong I don't think Casey is innocent of her daughters disappearance/possible death, I think she is in up to her neck in it.. As per my previous post Caylee Anthony and Casey Anthony

But like my views on the McCanns, I highly doubt it was a premeditated murder. It takes a very evil person to purposely kill their own child. But I believe that she possibly tried to drug her to keep her quiet whilst she partied, and the child possibly overdosed or fell (just like what I think happened with the McCanns)

My utmost wish is that both these people as in Casey Anthony and the McCanns come clean, tell the truth of what happened, tell the police where they put the children and beg for leniency in sentencing.

My biggest upset is that these dear sweet little children Madeleine and Caylee are lying buried in a hole somewhere, with no respect for their little lives and their souls unable to rest in peace. Its not fair to the grandparents and the rest of the families either.

Nothing good ever comes of secrets and lies.

Flogging A Dead Horse

I just have to ask is that what I and a gazillion other Adoptees and First Mothers are doing ? (along with I should add, some enlightened adoptive parents)

I shouldn't read Adoptive Parents (AP's) or Potential Adoptive Parents (PAP's) Blogs. 9 times out of 10, when I do I end up with a headache.

The self entitlement from many is just overbearing.

The "but we know many adopted children who are just fine with their lives, and are happy they were adopted" - Um hello we are not children anymore for one thing, and for another adoptees are VERY good at pleasing others and wearing a mask, because its what you want to hear and they don't want to hurt your feelings.

The very fact that they think the adopted baby is a gift - I mean P L E A S E why not just ask for your new baby to be wrapped in appropriate gender color and couriered to you - hey what a great idea MAIL ORDER ADOPTION. I mean to say after all there is already websites with the baby's and children to choose from, so hell why not put them through the check out and have them shipped on over whilst you are there!!!

Oh come now, think how much easier it would be, a website with lots of babies to choose from, I mean what does it matter right ? a baby is a baby, what does it matter what the background is, just select a baby to make that "must have" "want it right now" "at all costs" mummy and daddy nice and happy. So select your baby, select its going home outfit from the designer wardrobe online, select some appropriate toys and cuddly's to keep it happy en route to you, place the items in your cart, go through checkout, pay the appropriate postage - how much is it to send a baby these days ? I mean its very expensive to Buy a baby upwards of 2o grand that the paps balk at so how much is it to ship one out ? anyone know ?..anyway price aside, have the little GIFT wrapped up nice and tight with all its accessories and pretty soon it will arrive at your doorstep, and you can unwrap your new little gift..

How exciting - I LOVE Gifts don't you ?

Adoption - the gift that keeps on giving !!!

So my point to this ? I recently came across a blog quite by accident, and as I read it I thought yada yada same old same old PAP's talk, the whole gift thing, the whole God has a plan for us etc etc..you know the usual. but then horror struck my heart, as after I had left a reasonable comment I received some communication back from these people.
Now you see I try my hardest NOT to comment on paps blogs because I might get really mad and say something mean! so i just try to co-exist in blog land, but this one really made me upset.
You see they were promised a gift, and the gift died. But thats ok because that was gods will...

And would someone please enlighten me as to how someone can actually believe that a baby that is in another womans tummy, who this pregnant woman has decided (out of sheer desperation, i feel sure) to put her baby up for adoption and has chosen these pap's as the adoptive parents , that in just TWO MONTHS these people believe this is THEIR BABY ?
You see what I mean by entitlement don't you ?
Two months and they are absolutely devastated by the loss of their baby who was still born. That their *dreams* of being Mummy & Daddy and all the fantasy land that they lived in for two months of playing mummy and daddy all died with their baby.
This is where I get very VERY Angry.

What about the MOTHER ? what about the baby's Sibling ? They are the ones who have lost something NOT you.

Oh woops silly me. You lost $$$ and yes they actually wrote how devastating it was to have lost so much money.

What do you think happens to a everyday fertile couple who have a baby ? who buy everything ready for the baby? maybe move house ? maybe buy a bigger house ? only to lose the baby before during or after birth ? They don't get ANY refund.

Sadly, Devastatingly in fact (my very close and dear friend lost her baby after giving birth) Baby's DIE, its a fact. And if you are going to adopt an unborn baby you have NO control over that.

The more I read the more upset I become. Because what happens when the baby you were going to adopt dies ? and you lose money ? well you try and do it on the cheap *rolls eyes* and even going so far as to advertise on your blog....because you can do it on the cheap with a different lawyer AKA Baby Broker if you bring the Womb for Sale to him.

It makes me mad, It makes me outraged, it makes me terribly sad. Why ? because these people that write these things know, no better...They think because they *know* some kids of adoption that are all grown up with no adverse affects (noticeable) or someone who has adopted a kid with no visible trauma (yet) that adoption is just hunky dory, and then after receiving a different view point, one that is too the point but not nasty, they have audacity to write to me and tell me off for it in the guise of "of course others viewpoints are welcomed" yeah right !

And the outrage over abortion from these people, but yet they seem to have blinders on when it comes to adoption that its just fine and dandy to remove a baby from its mothers womb and take it away forever, Its just a different kind of abortion. Its a Living Abortion.

You know, when these people read my blog and this post, they are going to be mad, no doubt, but I have given NO identifying information, no link to their blog, no names, so the only way that anyone will ever know it is about YOU is if you go on the defense rampage.

But i'd like to address some of the things written to me by them to me here so that other adoptees and or first mothers can comment and they might see that it isn't that I am "just a bitter adoptee" that infact this is what adoption does.

One comment to me was :

Now, I could blast you for your careless words, comment on the bitterness that you really need to let go of, strive to help you understand that you may be looking at this wrongly.

I am not bitter. I am hurt, I am confused, I am sad, but I am not bitter. You haven't read my blog to know me, but I loved my adoptive mother very very much. I went from a size 12 to a size 6 during and leading up to her death. I was traumatized by her loss.
I love my adoptive father very much and he is very much a HUGE part of my life. I worry how I will cope when he goes. And I become a Orphan (again) Age really doesn't matter.... and with that will probably die the last remaining held on by a very stretched tie to my siblings..My Adoptive Parents Bio Siblings who frankly just never *got me* Its already waned dramatically since my adoptive Mother died..I'm sure it will be the finally end....

Btw I use Adoptive Mother and Father wording in my blog so as to differentiate here for my readers, but in the real world I never refer to them as anything other than Mum and Dad. They are my Real Parents as much as my First Mother is.
It is the one part of the adoption language I loathe - REAL - when someone talks about my *real* mother - does that infer that I am fake ?

Anyway to continue...

The blogger then talks about their infertility to me and starts down the *God* Path...one comment which stands out was this........

We do believe strongly in God and we see this as God choosing for us not to have biological children. He did this many times in the Bible. Some He chose to give children finally and some He did not. God has chosen not to give us a child of our own so we are choosing to adopt.

Um hello..the Bible is a BOOK. You do not live in fantasy land in a book, you live in the REAL WORLD, God did NOT make you or your wife infertile on purpose so you could then take another baby from some other poor unfortunate soul. (not sure who has the BIOLOGICAL or EMOTIONAL/MENTAL issue)

I believe in God too, but he doesn't cast down and strike women Barren ! or men sterile! It can be due to numerous issues. When you were conceived, during the pregnancy that held you, during your formative years, genetics etc etc. What God does is give you is the strength to believe in him to HELP You to SUPPORT you through it all. If you believe in God that strongly this is what you would believe..I am a believer but I do not always see eye to eye with God and I am not a Sunday Worshipping Christian, in fact I do not even go to church regularly. I do not believe You have to. Church is about Community. You can pray anywhere to God and he will hear you. Might not answer you, but you will be heard (bit like husbands really :P )

The next part of the letter was this (in reference to the second birth mother (I've said birth mother in this sentence as second first mother sounds a little confusing !) :

Now, this mother was not expecting to get pregnant. But she made choices that resulted in this pregnancy. She could have aborted the baby, but she chose not to. Her two babies she has now are more than a handful and she is not going to be able to take care of them as well as a newborn. Yes, maybe she could eventually, but that is not mine (or yours) to judge. Since you seem to want to bring religion into it please remember that the Bible says "judge not, lest ye be judged". All we know is that this woman loved this child enough not to abort it, but wanted to 1)allow the child to live, and 2)help a couple that could not have children of their own to experience the joy of having a little one of their own. This baby will receive full love in our home. It will not matter that it did not come from my wifes belly. This baby will be born in our hearts and will have the full rights and privileges of being our child. Adoption will not be used as a punishment against the child.

Hmm big time Triggers here, My First Mother chose to not be able to support two children after she discovered she was pregnant with me and so adoption was the plan for me. She chose NOT to tell her HUGE family who could have helped take care of me, because it was the late 1960's and she was raised in a STRICT IRISH CATHOLIC family, God loving parents that had the children praying on cold wooden floors for hours a day when they were younger. She had already had one child out of wedlock so to have another would, in her eyes cast her as the devil forever...
So I was kept a secret under baggy clothes in another town where she lived, worked and raised her 1st child as a single mother.

So the moral of the story then is I should be GRATEFUL that I was not aborted ? Hmm ?
And yes I am sure that the womans first thought was to help an infertile couple out ! Not !
Wow Full rights and privileges of being your child , gosh I hope they will be grateful for the rest of their god damn grateful life !
How exactly does one use adoption as a punishment ?

The more I read your words the more upset and angry I get !

I am sorry that you had such a horrible experience of adoption and that you have had to endure such pain and torment. But I would encourage you to let go of that hurt, that anger and bitterness. For whatever reason your birth mom/dad chose to place you up for adoption at least they chose to allow you the chance to live.
I am not sure what you have had to go through, but you can change what is going on inside you and celebrate your life.
I am not sure if you have even read this far down. I would love to continue to chat with you if you would so choose. I would love to find out about your adoption experience. What you went through, how you found out about your being adopted. I would love to learn from you so that the child we adopt will not have to endure the heartbreak you have carried all these years.

Give it up already! Stop telling me to be so grateful that my mother chose not to abort me but rather give me away like a .........oh I know................GIFT!

Nothing has happened in my life, i was not abused, I was not treated badly , in fact I had WONDERFUL Christian parents who loved me to pieces, in fact put me above everything else.
So i had the perfect life really, money, whatever I wanted basically, lots of love etc..but there is one thing that can not be given, and that is your identity, your heritage, your kin....You can not fix the hole in someones heart that occurred when mother and child were separated.

The amount of adoptive parents or pre adoptive parents blogs that I read talking about how its gods will and gods gift and yada yada..makes me ill, these people use this as a crutch to shut out the voices telling them its not so great after all. Adoption is NOT all flowers and hearts. Even for us that have wonderful adoptive parents we still have a huge part missing that can never be replaced by you and that eats away at us inside.

The other thing I would like readers to comment on is babies and dogs. These people have a number of dogs. They are in fact as they state *their babies* These people are about to bring home a baby, very quickly decided by the first mother and who is soon to give birth. There is no way in hell that these dogs are going to accept this no matter HOW much in charge the Male of the house is. What happens when he is away ? and the wife who had the *babies* aka Dogs now has this little bundle of joy carrying around in her arms ALL DAY AND NIGHT ? what exactly do you think these babies are going to think of that ?

Here are a few insights

Two week old baby mauled to death by family dog

11month old baby mauled to death by family dog

13 Month old baby mauled to death by family dog

4 month old baby mauled to death by family DOGS

8month old baby mauled to death by family dog

1 month old baby mauled to death by family dog

There are many many MANY More of these stories tragically and you can not blame them ALL on bad breeding or bad owners. Some of these animals were well cared for.

And that is the problem. These dogs that are so well loved are going to feel threatened and they WILL act like a Pack to remove that threat.

I'd have to ask if you wanted a baby so much would you be prepared to do ANYTHING For that baby ? including getting rid of KNOWN aggressive dogs ? Whilst they could be happy now once a threat comes along they will revert to their pack mentality - they are after all dogs.

If I was to see an adoptive parent remove any hint of a threat to their new baby, then I would have more respect for them in their belief that they really want a baby and will do anything for that baby. I don't see this in this case.

All I see is people using god as a cloak, all I see is pure self entitlement.. These people are removing a baby from a family, this unborn baby has a mother and a sibling...these people are being a part of that sorrow by adopting this baby...

I don't care how its looked at, its wrong.

Single Woman + vial + baby makes three............

What ? what did you say ? I can hear you now.. Yes this is a growing trend for single women.
They take themselves a healthy fertile SINGLE woman Plus one Vial of Sperm from the USA and shove it up their woo hoo and Wait.......9months later ... out pops donor baby..

Great isnt it ? Grrr makes me so damn mad and completely and utterly sad.

On Sunday night 60 minutes aired with a follow up to THIS story that they showed in March this year. Called DIY Mums
This prompted me to look up the original story which the link is above, and now Ive watched it in its entirety and I'm just so sad that our society has become this self absorbed must have, want now, will have now type of society.
Nowhere in here from either the single mother to the donor is anyone thinking about the child that is a result of that union, between uterus and vial.

Don't get me wrong, I get the whole desire, overwhelming desire to have a baby, to create something of my own, to pass on my genetics, to be a mother, Oh I get that alright, and I was lucky that i did find someone that I loved and wanted to have babies with and get married and be able to get pregnant quickly especially in my late 30's...

But I'm adopted. I also know Secrets & Lies, I also know Abandonment and rejection. I also know the whole feeling different from everyone else and not understanding why, and although later in my adult life I began to understand the why I felt different I still never the REASONING for it all.
To make a child knowing full well the cloud of judgment and confusion, of secrecy of non identity that he/she will have to grow up with is in MY opinion disgraceful, and downright selfish. Lets face it they aren't making the baby for the baby's sake they are doing it out of self want.


There is stigmas about adoption, just go read my previous posts, but there is definitely a bigger stigma for donor children..

Marvin the Meanie : so where's your dad ?

Danny the Donor Kid: um well I don't really know , I don't have a dad.

Marvin the Meanie : How come is he DEAD ?

Danny the Donor Kid : Um no , well *stammers* well at least I don't think so..

Marvin the Meanie : What do you mean ? of course you would know if your Dad was Dead or not

Danny the Donor Kid : Well um I don't know , I don't know anything about him, my Mum had to use a Donor to have me..

Marvin the Meanie : Rolling on the floor with laughter - oh you're a result of a turkey baster HAHAHA

etc etc and ok it might not play out exactly like that and Ive used a little exaggerated play BUT kids can be very CRUEL, take the taunt that I ( and many adopted children receive during their schooling years)

So you're adopted huh, how come,

I don't know ,

Oh wait I know because you're REAL mum and dad didn't love you / want you..

You get the picture.

But do these self serving must have, want it now, at all cost single women think of those consequences ? NO they're too busy reading the latest Mother and Baby mag reading up on all the latest trends, and decking out the Nursery.

Or better even still they get busy and write a book telling OTHER single women how to "knock yourself up"

A term I find demeaning in itself even when used in the old fashioned manner of a man "knocking a woman up" and yes I get the intent ....but I still don't find it funny. When I carried my two precious bundles I certainly wasn't "knocked up"

This is a woman who decided that the right bloke hadn't come into her life and she'd better get busy and get herself pregnant.

To quote a paragraph from the website :

The book also addresses the serious moral questions and concerns raised by single parenthood and anonymous-donor insemination. In addition to the thoughts and experiences of the women interviewed, Knock Yourself Up offers observations and guidance from experts who have worked extensively with families created by donor insemination, and looks at the latest academic research on how single motherhood and donor insemination affects the children.

And if you follow that academic research link above you will come to a page where right at the bottom on one of the studies *surprise surprise * it says

Salient findings: In general, the children wanted to know more about the donor (though their opinions were mixed), whereas the mothers preferred the donor to remain anonymous.

Are you amazed ? I'm not ! Its all about the me me me generation, and yes I am guilty of that too, I want a new house i want a new dress I want a new Tv I want this and that , but I am not the me Generation that is at the deficit of our children, this worlds future. No in fact I have been putting my children first since I had my first 5 years ago !.

It just saddens me no end that women out there think that having a child via a vial is okay. That they'll understand ( as in the child), that they'd rather be alive than never born, well thats a bit tricky to put that out there isn't it ? after all if they hadn't been born they wouldn't know anything about feelings ! and they wouldnt have a voice, so that really is a stupid argument.

Its hard enough knowing that you were a result of a a one night stand, an illicit affair, a mistake, but to be a child that grows up as a result of being produced from a vial because "mummy must have" has got to be extremely hard. And it really saddens me that women out there who are so desperate for a child to love , who love children don't put the child first. How can you love a child so much , that you are willing to purposely make them suffer ?

If you want a child GO and Foster a baby / a child or adopt a ORPHAN .

Bring love to a child that is in need, that has no family. Don't produce one and provide them immediately with a trauma.

Caylee Anthony & Casey Anthony

One is Three years old, the other is 22 years old and is the 3 year olds mother.

Caylee was not even 3 when she disapeared in June this year.

The photo above is of Caylee, I think Caseys had her photo shown enough. Don't you ?

Why am I writing about this case ? I normally write about adoption tragedies only right ? well this still has adoption mentioned in it. Is it true ? well I dont know, only Casey, the friend and the mother of Casey would know.

According to these articles Here and Here it is written that in the court documents that Casey wanted to give Caylee up for adoption when at just 19 she found herself pregnant. But that Casey's mum talked her out of it.

Do I think Casey is guilty ? Hell yeah. Just like I think Maddies Parents are guilty as well. What makes me think that way ? I'm a mother. What these people have in common with each other is how they abandoned their children, this type of so called *mothering* is not the sort of mothering that I do. Whether either the McCanns or Casey Anthony purposely murdered their children, well that remains to be seen, I cant imagine personally that they could with intent murder their child, but do I think they are involved in their deaths.

Up to their necks.






And it would appear according to this recent report Here so do the police, at least in reference to the missing tot Caylee Anthony.

As a mother who can not comprehend leaving my child with even a baby sitter this is just out of my reach of understanding or Compassion.
If you want to party and live it up then why have children ? I did all my partying before I had children, after all you can only party so long in this life. And hey it its your thing to party until you die then great I'm happy for you, but dont take on the FULL TIME commitment of having children. In those early years they need you 100 percent, and people that dump their kids even with the grandparents to go off and party or holiday are beyond my comprehension.

Take your children with you and if you cant take them somewhere where they will also enjoy themselves then the answer is simple DON'T GO. Wait until they are older

People are too damn selfish these days. Its all about me me me. I want I want I want.

Where ever you are Caylee and Madeleine my thoughts are with you.....

Tabula Rasa

This is the episode recently shown in my state in Australia from the Hit Show Criminal Minds.
Indeed Tabula Rasa, the title of this episode means Blank Slate.
Yup the Show Criminal Minds last night had a serial killer that had lost his memory...

But woohoo The birth Mummy came along and triggered him into remembering all the women he had murdered years ago..

Yeah Another Show where the baddy is an adoptee

*rolls eyes*

Here is a little synopsis from it.

"Why didn't you come forward?" Rossi asks Nina Moore at her home in Virginia. She explains that her family doesn't know about her first child, and she wanted to protect them. She only met with Brian once before he was injured, five years ago, long before the killings began. He called her one day, having found her through an investigator, and wanted to meet. They spoke about her family and children - Brian seemed to want to connect with her, to call occasionally and meet over the holidays but she couldn't agree to it. She rejected him and she feels responsible for what he did. She visited him at the hospital because it was safe and no one would know. Nina's husband arrives unexpectedly and she has some explaining to do. Rossi believes that Nina's rejection of Matloff was the stressor that sent him off to kill. He interrupts Nina's discussion with her husband to ask about anything Brian might have sent her in the mail. She pulls out a box full of trinkets - the reason they never found Matloff's "trophies" is that he sent them to Nina Moore.

Sigh I have nothing else. :(