I hope you are grateful.......I hope that if you blog that you do not blog about anything other than being grateful for being adopted
It seems that this post
Causes quite a upset even some months later. I continually receive nasty little anonymous comments on this particular blog post too which I don't bother publishing as a comment because they are anonymous, but every now and then a doozy anon comes along that I need to dedicate a entire post to, such is the case here..
>The first comment I received was
"I feel so sorry for you. I hope you find more gratitude for the good life you have had in years to come. Adoption isn't your real issue, attitude plays a big part too."
"I feel so sorry for you. Adoption isn't your real issue. Gratitude is. Your parents (adoptive) gave you a good life and love and you throw it away like it didn't matter. Biology doesn't make a real family work. Love and respect do. I hope you find it one day Jane. I truly do."
Would someone please tell me how this person can possibly know this ? wouldn't one think that throwing away onces life would be not doing anything with it? ending up on the streets on drugs ? prostitution? gambling? being into crime ? wouldn't that constitute "throwing it away" But here I am in a beautiful home with a beautiful family of MY own that I brought into this world, that I made, gave life to and NURTURED along the way with love and respect...so tell me how does being a successful wife and mother and business woman constitute "throwing it all away" ?
Because I write about the atrocities in the adoption world ? this makes me ungrateful? this makes me "throwing it away"
Because I speak of the wrongs that are happening with adoption today , and yesterday this makes me ungrateful ?
HA what a freaking JOKE. This person who spent all of 15 minutes or so on my blog reading 5 or 6 pages ...HA they think they have the right to comment on me ? HA what a JOKE
READ My blog from back to front then come back....better yet post as a real person or send me a email.
You have no fucking clue. Here go ahead and read THIS POST about my adoptive Mother
and then come back and say that to me you imbecile.
GET ALL THE FACTS Before you open your Goddamn Mouth.
UPDATED 27th August 08 - wednesday 11.38 am WST (Aust)
But Wait ! There is More - I cant actually believe it ! but there is and seriously you would think that someone who has now spent at least an hour on your blog, with the blog name of Adopted JANE And the sign off on many posts of JANE would get that your name is oh wait lets see JANE
So now we have the fantastic comment of :
It takes a giving person to be a parent. Biological or other wise. You mum and dad may not have been perfect. But heck I was raised by my biological parents and they still didn't get it all right.
I hope you chose to let go of this hate and move on in life. I have friends who are adopted...and they LOVE their adoptive parents, and respect their birth parents for making a choice to give them a better life. They are NOT damaged people. I would say happy, good attitudes...
I know others that have recently adopted a child locally, have contact with the birth mother and exchange of information twice a year. Adoption has changed a great deal over the years. (Furness is mainly about international, not local Australia.) Maybe you should look into what happens NOW rather than 40 years ago.
Let it go, get on with your life and start looking at the gift your adoptive parents and birth mother gave you, you said they loved you, gave you a good life... Don't force yourself onto your birth mother. Any Relationship take time to develop, so do it one bit at time.
Give me the person who lost their leg in a car accident... forgave the person who caused it, didn't become bitter and 'damaged'...and now they are competing in the Para Olymics...
And my little pic at the beginning of this post ... is a fact ... I am grateful...but I dont believe that people need to associate adoption and grateful in the same sentence. Being adopted is not something you should *have to be* grateful about. Being adopted is not a GIFT.
In regards to being Grateful being an adopted child is the same as being a child born to a parent, there should be no more or no less about being grateful that the other.
I should be as grateful to my adoptive parents as my own flesh and blood child should be grateful to me.
It angers me when I read of people saying to an adoptee "you should be grateful you were adopted"
WHY ? why should we ? Because we might have been aborted ? because we might have languished in foster care ? yes I am happy that those things didnt happen to me, but no one has the right to tell me that I should be GRATEFUL for being adopted.
Perhaps the adoptive parents should be GRATEFUL ? that they got the opportunity that they otherwise would not have had ?
Grateful is a very strong word. It should not be used to attack adoptees with regards to the feelings that they have. Being Grateful for what one has , being grateful for opportunities, etc has nothing to do with being adopted...one is not a mirror of the other...
I think that people should really think about it long and hard, and stop telling adoptees to be grateful, adoptees are grateful, as much as any other child is...there really isnt any need to tell them to be it, and it just makes them hurt.
ETA: Oh and Ive decided to publish your RIDICULOUS comments on the blog post you left them on , as per the link up above