Adopted Jane: December 2009

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

EEK - my template ? what the hey?

Hmm so today I have gone to blog...and then noticed my template is all screwy
What has happened to it ?
Anyone up for a make over ?

Merry Christmas Mum, Merry Christmas Mother, Merry Christmas Sister...

Three people I miss this Christmas...

One I will never see, not until (maybe) when I die...(I still don't know if I believe that there is a afterlife)

The other two I will not see unless I get on a plane and travel to the other side of the world...
Even then, I may not see them, because they may still reject me despite my traveling across the other side of the world to see them !!!

I miss My Mum terribly. Its coming up to 10 years in 2010.....10 years since I had her arms wrap around mine and tell me how much she loved me...10 years since since she wished me Merry Christmas...10 years since I got to hug her and tell her I love you....10 years since a little part of me died the day she did.....

How I miss her........

I find loss extremely hard to deal with, I find death therefore infinitely more so......
I wish I could know, I wish I could really for 100percent know that I will see those that have died that I love again...I could cope then...............

But thats never going to happen is it....If you have faith then you are supposed to have comfort from that...but if you listen to those who believe in evolution, that we cane from a spec, a cell..then there really is no afterlife, and I will never see those that I love again :(

So is faith and the believe in God and where we came from ie Adam and Eve, and the afterlife just some made up / dreamed up fantasy to make us all feel better ? so that we dont mope this earth until we die ?

I just wish I could have proof just for myself to know, that there really is a afterlife :( because I really miss my Mum.................