Every Single DAMN Fucking YEAR
If you don't like the word don't read my blog!
Because this isn't about the causes I advocate for this is about ME. I get to say what I want about ME
Every single year my birthday comes around and the week leading up to it turns to shit. Every year I start out so positive and say its not going to happen this year - but it still comes at me...
It still rains on me with a vengance.
Am I being punished for being born AGAIN ?
That is what it feels like, because how come every one else can have a wonderful birthday - no dramas, lovely celebrations and I cant ?
Is it because its 3 weeks after Christmas ? and no one can be bothered ?
I put so much effort into everyone else's birthday but when its comes to mine NOTHING. I mean I even had to share my birthday with my Mother (adoptive) because her birthday was the next day so it was always a "joint birthday"
Ive never been special on my birthday, like everyone else is, its their special day. And now that my Mum has been gone I don't even get a joint birthday - I get NOTHING. No celebration...Just some presents and false words in cards.
Christmas is for children. Birthdays are for EVERYONE.
Being Adopted and having a birthday is a hard day and only other adoptees and First Mothers get that. Because whilst its a celebration of birth its also a loss.
So when it comes around to my birthday and my expectations are high that this year will be the year that I'm cared about and it all falls flat on my face, I again end up in a heap
2 days out until my birthday and nothing has changed..Not even my own husband gets it.
BIRTHDAYS SUCK
Every single fucking year I say IM NOT HAVING A BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR - and here we are again , I thought it might be different this year . I was wrong
BIRTHDAYS SUCK
Every year I hold out hope that they might call me.. send a card...tell me that they want me in their life.. Like other members of the family have embraced me...and every year I am slapped in the face..with the empty echoes of my own tears rolling down....
BIRTHDAYS SUCK
ADOPTION SUCKS
Here's last years post
Friday, January 9, 2009
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11 comments:
Birthdays suck. As a child I saw no cause for celebration as I was uncertain I had really been born at all. My wife still doesn't understand my morose behaviour around that time of year.
Ah, adoption - the gift that keeps on giving.
Happy birthday, for what it's worth. I understand how you feel and I'm sorry.
Happy birthday Jane. I'm sorry it's so hard.
I haven't been around much lately. Really busy with the boys junk. I'm sorry, I know it must be frustrating to not be acknowledged on that special day that everyone else seems to get recognition for. That is the one and only thing I do get from my family. The rest of the year I hardly hear from themat all.
Wishing you a very happy birthday from someone who really does appriciate you.
Its been a long time since I've visited your blog.
Whilst I'm not adopted, I can certainly relate to birthdays sucking. I haven't enjoyed mine for the past few years for my own silly reasons.
In any case, I hope you find something to enjoy on your birthday in your own way.
I have this rule, where, if I can take the day off, I do. I don't work on my birthday. Instead, I go get a massage or something. Hang out with a friend.
Just... do my own thing and not whatever is expected. Probably always a good idea really...
Jane - I don't even know what to say except I am so sorry and I wish you had lifetime of the birthdays you deserves.
Jane...Happy Birthday. I am so sorry its like this for you. Like you...all of my birthdays come and go...no calls, no cards. I often wonder if I build it up too much in my head or something. I also go out of my way for other peoples birthdays...and perhaps on some level, I want them to do the same for me. "sigh"
Take care
Laurie
Jane, I'm so sorry you were hurting on your birthday. I've never visited here before, but from what you say, I'm assuming you know your n,f,b-parents (i never know which term to use, so as to not offend)?
I don't understand how they could not send you a card or call. If I could be with my son on all his birthdays I'd be there, I've missed so many of them, I don't want to miss any more. But he doesn't always want me there.
I wish I could make you feel better. Just know that I'm sorry for your pain and I wish I could take it away for you.
Love your blog! Love your brutal honesty. I myself have though of starting a blog but really do not have the time. Alot of what you say, I would be saying!
Thanks Jane,
great post.
Birthdays DO SUCK.
I love your blog, we need more brutally honest adoptees like you out there.
Hi Jane,
Happy belated birthday! You are special to lots of people - me included!
Love ya,
Jana
I'm sorry you have terrible birthdays. My birthday is the day before my mothers...but I didn't live with her. I lived with my dad and step mom so we never celebrated together. As a kid I always felt my birthdays stunk. It's 4 days after Christmas. Seriously...who wants a party 4 days after Christmas and 2 days before New Years? NO ONE. lol
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